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Sara Palin Facts
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Little Known Facts about the Alaska Governor...
  • Sarah Palin is not affected by global warming, evolution or gravity.
  • Sarah Palin eats moose. Preferably live.
  • Sarah Palin is so HOT that God had to send a hurricane to cool America off.
  • Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines.
  • Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.
  • Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.
  • Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
  • Sarah Palin's enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
  • Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin’ bout
  • When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad
  • Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience
  • Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
  • In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
  • Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in a charter jet - she ran there as part of her morning workout.
  • Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
  • Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
  • Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
  • When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
  • Sarah Palin's finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden's still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.
  • Sarah Palin isn't allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they're afraid she'll use it to kill liberals.
  • Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
  • Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
  • Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
  • Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.
  • Sarah Palin can divide by zero.
  • Chuck Norris wet his pants when he met Sarah Palin.

And for you pilots.....

SARAH PALIN: The Aviator

  • Sarah Palin doesn't request clearances, she states intentions.
  • Sarah Palin is the only person ever to land on runway 37.
  • Hijackers squawk 7500 when Sarah Palin is on board
  • Sarah Palin once shot down three enemy aircraft with her aux fuel tank.
  • If you ever lose sight of Sarah Palin, check your six o'clock.
  • When Sarah Palin taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to hold short.
  • Sarah Palin never "loses" altitude, she simply gets rid of it when she no longer has any use for it.
  • A precautionary approach according to Sarah Palin is sneaking up on a liberal from behind right before she breaks their neck with a hockey stick.
  • Sarah Palin has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare get cross with Sarah Palin.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't fly into headwinds...the wind is always running away from Sarah Palin.
  • When Sarah Palin flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Sarah Palin is never under pressure.
  • Sarah Palin does not have to worry about crashing into the ground. The ground will gladly get out of Sarah Palin’s way.
  • Sarah Palin has never had a midair collision, she has shot down any plane that has gotten within 10 miles.
  • When told to break at the numbers, Sarah Palin politely reminded the controller that Sarah Palin cannot be broken and proceeded with the straight in.
  • Sarah Palin was taking the active runway and noticed the windsock was pointed in her direction. Sarah Palin calmly got out of her helicopter, walked over to the windsock and obliterated it with a hockey stick. No one points at Sarah one.
  • Right of Way rules do not apply when Sarah Palin is flying. If you are flying toward Sarah Palin, you are wrong.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't shoot approaches...she kills them.
  • Sarah Palin is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Sarah Palin.
  • Two way contact for Sarah Palin is when she hits you with two hockey sticks simultaneously.
  • Once, Sarah Palin was told to down one of her students. That student is still recovering from his injuries.
  • Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with her Bell X-1 Jet. Sarah Palin broke the sound barrier with a hockey stick.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't manage operational risk...she seeks it.
  • Crew-served weapons are not safe until Sarah Palin takes her hand off of the trigger.
  • Sarah Palin was told to ident, the controller was greeted with a hockey stick coming out of his radar screen.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't level off; she tells the altimeter to stop moving.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't need crew rest...she never sleeps.
  • Sarah Palin was once denied a clearance...once.
  • Shock and Awe are the names of Sarah Palin' legs.
  • Minimum Safe Altitudes do not apply to liberals when Sarah Palin is airborne, if you are a liberal in the air when Sarah Palin is flying you are never safe.
  • Sarah Palin is never given the instructions "when able" . Sarah Palin is never unable to do anything.
  • Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Sarah Palin' flight path.
  • Sarah Palin was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so she decided to punch through them. she then got back in her helicopter and flew through the hole she just made.
  • Sarah Palin has never had to adapt her eyes to the dark. Her infrared vision is working perfectly fine.
  • Sarah Palin doesn't have emergencies, only moments of brief excitement.
  • Sarah Palin was told she was number two for landing. She immediately went to guns and shot the preceding aircraft. Sarah Palin does not follow anyone.
  • Sarah Palin once swung her hockey stick so fast that the tip broke the speed of light, went back in time, and accidentally killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  • It is not advisable to use your heads up display when flying with Sarah Palin, a hockey stick to the face hurts a lot less with your head down.
  • When asked for a time check, Sarah Palin replied, "Two ‘till". The other pilot said "Two ‘till what". Two seconds later the pilot was smacked in the face by a hockey stick.
  • A permanent TFR for liberals surrounds Sarah Palin.
  • Sarah Palin cannot be tracked on radar, if she appears, it is too late; she is already there.
  • A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Sarah Palin gives med down kicks.
  • Leading cause of disorientation for pilots: Sarah Palin.
  • If you become hypoxic during flight; apologize to Mrs. Palin and stop looking at her legs.
  • Sarah Palin never turns up the volume on her radios, she tells everyone else to speak louder.
  • Sarah Palin can move stationary fronts.
  • All survival vests will be fitted with a Sarah Palin.
  • Sarah Palin is the only person to graduate SERE School via correspondence.
  • A sonic boom is the sound of Sarah Palin smacking a liberal in the face with a hockey stick.
  • Sarah Palin isn't holding, she is circling above her victims.
  • Getting acute with Sarah Palin will be your last mistake.
  • There is no need to use your rearview mirrors, rest assured; Sarah Palin will always be there.
  • Violate the 12 hour bottle to throttle rule and Sarah Palin will enforce the 12 hour bottle to face rule.
  • Sarah Palin has never missed a takeoff time, Sarah Palin never misses anything.
  • Forrest Patton has a plan to land a 747 on the side of a mountain. Sarah Palin has executed that plan.
  • No one knows what Sarah Palin's tail number is, nobody has ever gotten that close.
  • There are two kinds of fighter pilots: those who have not yet challenged Sarah Palin to a dog fight and those who have. Unfortunately, we have been unable to find any who have challenged her.
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